In Australia, 1 in 3 marriages end in divorce, and these marriages have an average length of 12 years, or at least that’s what statistics say. In 2010, Brisbane was declared the nation’s divorce capital, with 10,000 divorce applications processed in the city’s Federal Magistrates Court per year.
Marriage isn’t as easy as they make it out to be, far from the romantic films where couples live happily ever after. At some point, married couples realise that marriage really is not all about the spark and butterflies in the stomach and that a lot of work and commitment is needed for it to last. With a steady divorce rate, marriage counselling and relationship therapy may be the solutions to save modern marriages from falling apart.
Here, we’ll discuss how marriage counselling in Brisbane can help married couples save their marital relationship. Continue reading.
What is marriage counselling and how does it work?
It is important to understand what counselling is and why couples should consider attending one. Couple’s counselling focuses on helping a couple resolve whatever issues are causing distress between them. A professional counsellor, psychologist, or licensed therapist often facilitates these counselling sessions.
When we think of couples counselling, we often associate it to romantic relationships only. But counselling covers a broad range of applications including family relationships, work relationships, and friendships. Generally, marriage counselling involves:
- Initial assessment for both partners to share the current problems that made them seek a marriage counsellor;
- Goal setting in which the counsellor works closely with the couple to determine what their goals are;
- 5-10 sessions with 3 and 5-month intervals; and
- Regular check-ins in each session to see if the couple is making any progress.
Couples therapy provides more objectivity based on the counsellor or therapist’s assessment concerning the couple’s unique patterns and problems.
Marital Issues That Couples Often Face
No two marriages are the same, and each unhappy couple is unhappy in its own way. Younger couples learn after their blissful honeymoon-period that they are not as compatible as they initially thought. Some couples who have been married for a longer time are unable to nurture their relationship due to many things, like jobs and children consuming their time.
Here are common issues that couples face:
- Anger management issues
- Blended families
- Changing roles
- Conflicts about parenting and child-rearing
- Communication problems
- Cultural clashes
- Physical or psychological conditions
- Same-sex relationship issues
- Sexual difficulties
A therapist understands the unique patterns and problems between a couple. In doing so, he or she can tailor a solution that fits and works for the couple in therapy.
Why go to couples therapy?
No marriage is perfect and entirely smooth-sailing. Sometimes, married couples face problems from the beginning of their relationship. Sometimes, these problems can come as a result of unexpected stresses. Regardless of the root cause of their marital woes, all couples can benefit from marriage counselling at some stage in their relationship.
Here are some of the many ways couples can benefit from counselling.
1. It helps couples confront the problem
Contrary to what many people believe, going to marriage counselling in Brisbane or anywhere in Australia is not about finger-pointing and determining who did what or who is to blame. In fact, marriage counselling is the platform for the husband and wife to address the issue and talk about it. It gives them the tools for communicating and asking for what they need from their spouse.
Confrontation is very important in marital relationships. It doesn’t wreck a marriage but instead, provides the avenue to prevent the couple from erupting and walking away from their marriage.
2. It gives unbiased advice
Some couples prefer to keep things to themselves, even when they know they’ve grown apart. Others find solace in their parents, relatives, and friends when they go through a rocky phase. But then, loved ones tend to be biased when it comes to giving advice.
Your loved ones may understand you more than anyone, but it’s not fair to take sides or be partial. With a professional counsellor as a mediator, couples can get unbiased advice. There is no judgment, blame, or any hint of partiality in every counselling session, so couples can be comfortable about discussing their relationship without getting skewed opinions that can aggravate the situation.
3. It can renew their connection
One reason couples come to therapy is not that they argue too much, but because they don’t argue at all. Perhaps the spark has fizzled out, and couples feel alienated from their partner. Long-term relationships are not supposed to be this way, and couples therapy ensures that couples have a way to renew their connection instead of leaving their partners out in the cold.
4. It helps couples clarify their feelings about their marriage
In connection with what is mentioned above, marriage counselling sessions also help couples sort out how they feel about their marriage. Husbands and wives come to therapy confused about whether they want to stay in the relationship or where things went wrong in the first place.
By having a set time and space each week to express their thoughts and feelings, couples can get clear on their wants and needs. Providing an objective outside perspective, therapists act as a guide as couples navigate through a challenging time in their marriage.
5. It promotes personal growth
Do married people stop caring about their partners’ unique personality after their honeymoon phase? How do they relate with each other after years of marriage? Another common reason that pushes couples to go to therapy is that they feel as if they have lost their individuality.
From years of living with their respective spouses or maybe because of other responsibilities, it’s easy for one to abandon the things that used to be part of their identity. Marriage counselling sessions also focus on personal growth and individuality. Couples gain insight as to why they’re with the person they’re with.
Going through a rough patch in your marriage?
At some point, you’re going to hit a rough patch in your marriage, and how you deal with it makes or breaks your relationship with your spouse. With open communication and professional counselling, you can get through this difficult part of your life. We at Beach Health Retreat are here to help you resolve any marital issues you may be experiencing. For holistic marriage counselling in Brisbane, turn to us and find peace in your married life.